In the year 2524, four centuries after humans started colonizing the outer planets, retired General James Ford gets called back into service when a hostile alien fleet attacks soldiers on a remote planet. The threat against mankind soon escalates into an interstellar war as Ford and a team of elite soldiers try to stop the imminent attack before it's too late.
Lt. Wakes is a vengeful police detective determined to solve the murders of his partner and an informant, and joins forces with a witness injured during the shootings. After the killers pursue the witness across the abandoned floor of a hospital, she confirms Wakes's worst fears.
Crime boss Rex hires Frank and his crew to steal a priceless jewel stash — but the job goes wrong when someone tips off the cops. After Frank suffers a blow to the head, he wakes up to find the jewels gone and no memory of his attacker. Now, Frank must confront his team members one by one to find the traitor — before Rex covers his tracks by having Frank murdered.
Bruce Willis goes from "Die Hard" to dead on arrival as some of the biggest names in entertainment serve up punches of their own to Hollywood's go-to action star. And with Roast Master Joseph Gordon-Levitt at the helm, nobody is leaving the dais unscathed.
When a former CIA operative is kidnapped by a group of terrorists, his son learns there is no plan for his father to be saved—so he launches his own rescue operation.
After his mistress runs over a young teen, a Wall Street hotshot sees his life unravel in the spotlight, and attracting the interest of a down and out reporter.
Madeline is married to Ernest, who was once arch-rival Helen's fiance. After recovering from a mental breakdown, Helen vows to kill Madeline and steal back Ernest. Unfortunately for everyone, the introduction of a magic potion causes things to be a great deal more complicated than a mere murder plot.
Sully is a rascally ne'er-do-well approaching retirement age. While he is pressing a worker's compensation suit for a bad knee, he secretly works for his nemesis, Carl, and flirts with Carl's young wife Toby. Sully's long- forgotten son and family have moved back to town, so Sully faces unfamiliar family responsibilities. Meanwhile, Sully's landlady's banker son plots to push through a new development and evict Sully from his mother's life.
A loathsome man ends up dead, but it's not clear who's to blame. If ever a person got what he deserved, it's James Urbanksi, an abusive drunk who steals from his wife, Joyce, and promises her close friend Cynthia Kellogg that she'll be the next target of his rage. At a group outing, James bleeds to death after someone cuts his throat. But because he's such a terrible human being, police aren't sure which of his acquaintances decided to kill him.
Mike Judge's slacker duo, Beavis and Butt-Head, wake to discover their TV has been stolen. Their search for a new one takes them on a clueless adventure across America where they manage to accidentally become America's most wanted.
After a mobster agrees to cooperate with an FBI investigation in order to stay out of prison, he's relocated by the authorities to a life of suburban anonymity as part of a witness protection program. It's not long before a couple of his new neighbours figure out his true identity and come knocking to see if he'd be up for one more hit—suburban style.
When bachelor Walter Davis (Bruce Willis) is set up with his sister-in-law's pretty cousin, Nadia Gates (Kim Basinger), a seemingly average blind date turns into a chaotic night on the town. Walter's brother, Ted (Phil Hartman), tells him not to let Nadia drink alcohol, but he dismisses the warning, and her behavior gets increasingly wild. Walter and Nadia's numerous incidents are made even worse as her former lover David (John Larroquette) relentlessly follows them around town.