Ben Holmes, a professional book-jacket blurbologist, is trying to get to Savannah for his wedding. He just barely catches the last plane, but a seagull flies into the engine as the plane is taking off. All later flights are cancelled because of an approaching hurricane, so he is forced to hitch a ride in a Geo Metro with an attractive but eccentric woman named Sara.
When the local FBI office receives a letter from a terrorist known only as 'The Citizen', it's quickly determined that he's planning his next act at the Miss America beauty pageant. Because tough-as-nails Gracie Hart is the only female Agent at the office, she's chosen to go undercover as the contestant from New Jersey.
Young Tommy Hudler decides to become a security systems salesman, and is an instant success. Everything seems to be going great until he discovers there's more to this business and his boss Heinrich than he previously suspected.
A recently slain cop joins a team of undead police officers working for the Rest in Peace Department and tries to find the man who murdered him. Based on the comic by Peter M. Lenkov.