Wayne Gretzky (no relation) is a vampire who can't grow his teeth. His impotence began when he inadvertently killed Mary Lipinsky, the love of his life, 300 years ago. To take his mind off the pain, he teaches college history - who better? Attempting to regain his full power, he enlists help from his friend and colleague, Dr. Levine (Gary Cole). Nothing works until a new semester brings freshman Chris Keller. She's a dead ringer for Mary and they have a lurid affair, while rumors fly around the campus. But it all sours when he turns Chris into a vampire and her newfound bloodlust spins out of control in a bloody rampage, making the rumors a little too real. Written by Anonymous
Hyperactive teenager Kelly is enrolled into a military school when her new stepfather becomes the Commandant. At first she has problems fitting in and taking orders until she tries out for the drill team.
Paul Thomas is an ex-cop who happened to be the sole survivor of a mass cult suicide in Wyoming. He returns to his home town of Santa Fe in order to put his life back together. However, soon he realizes that his ex-wife is sucked into new-age philosophies. Trying to save his daughter from the cults, he finds self-help guru Eleanor who happens to be a very attractive woman.
A man claiming to be Carol Brady's long-lost first husband, Roy Martin, shows up at the suburban Brady residence one evening. An impostor, the man is actually determined to steal the Bradys' familiar horse statue, a $20-million ancient Asian artifact.
In this witty drama, the future of art is examined from two vantage points: the years 1699 and 1999. Roland (Dennis Hopper) is an avant-garde artist in Venice, California whose sister, Countess Camilla Volta (Lauren Bacall), lives on their family's estate in Venice, Italy. Their father, The Viscount (John Wood), is near death, and he announces, to the disappointment of both his offspring, that his home and priceless collection of art have been bequeathed to the Italian government.
Muffin's wedding to Dino Corelli is to be a big affair. Except the ageing priest isn't too sure of the ceremony, only the families actually turn up as the Corelli Italian connection is suspect, security guards watch the gifts rather over-zealously, and Dino's grandma expires in bed just as the reception starts. Could be quite an occasion.
Just a Little Harmless Sex examines a young married couple that faces a serious break-up when the husband is caught committing adultery with a prostitute.